I recently was asked to speak at an upcoming event about networking and as I have been preparing my speech with some best practices for networking and some helpful tips that I have learned over the years, I vividly remembered my first networking experience and how scared and intimidated I felt that day.
That was 12 years ago and I will never forget it! I was shaking, my hands were sweating and I wanted to leave before it even started!
I have been to so many networking events since that time and I have grown and changed so much since that first SCARY luncheon! Believe it or not, I am shy and get embarrassed easily so networking scared the bejeebies out of me!
But why? Was it because I was shy and would rather talk just one on one?
No, that really had nothing to do with it.
I lacked confidence in myself.
This wasn’t something new for me. I grew up with a lack of confidence in my looks and my abilities. I felt like everyone was better than me and that all the other girls were prettier than me. As females, we really can do a doozy on ourselves by self sabotaging ourselves with negative thoughts and the lies we tell ourselves that we actually believe!
It wasn’t until well after I started my family that I started to become more confident in my own skin. But every now and then the whole darn lack of confidence thing would rear it’s ugly head…like when I was at an event. I would get scared to approach people and talk to them for fear of rejection and I was also scared that I might not say the right thing or that they wouldn’t like me.
So how did I get out of this rut and when did this change?
I honestly can’t tell you a specific time that I noticed that things had changed. It was a gradual change over the years. I could see tiny positive changes in the way I would feel at each consecutive event I went to. And how did I develop my confidence at these events? I just kept going again and again until it got easier for me. It’s like anything in life that you want to get better at…you have to continually practice it and you must get comfortable with the uncomfortable!
Do I still get nervous and lack a sense of confidence when networking? Yes I do at times, but I can tell you that I am so much better at this then I was 12 years ago and I will keep putting myself in uncomfortable situations whether it be at an event or something else so that I can continue to be the most confident Ginger I can be! Get out of your comfort zone and you will see that those areas that you once lacked confidence in will get better and easier for you.
